brick & sailor’s Neighborhood

The thing about living in this city is that it doesn’t matter how vast it is, how many people it consumes, the speed it works in — it never seems to let me forget how many times I’ve loved and hurt and been broken, or where these things happened. It doesn’t matter how many new places, nooks, corners, high rises I discover, it doesn’t matter how many someones you surround yourself with — seeing that one flower shop, sitting in that park, watching that fountain flow, passing that church tower, running around like kids in the biggest known toy store in the city will never erase the memories you spent with the one you thought you’d spend something like forever with. And even if these places disappear, fall down, crash, or are rebuilt — you come to realize that the memories don’t go that easily, and they will stay, for however long they can, in the deepest corner of your heart, because at one time they meant the world and sometimes you’ll miss it, want to relive it, but someday somebody will change your mind and in time, the city will look anew again, ready for more adventures in love.

I'm bringing my Vox back, or at least I will attempt to. I've been cheating on Vox with Tumblr  -- it's become an easier way to share my thoughts and I hate to say it, but I love the anonymity of it. Ever since blogging as become a phenomenon, it's been hard for me to publicly write anywhere unless there's some type of anonymity to it which is why Tumblr has been a savior in the past few months. But I want to come back here, at least for my personal/private thoughts. Otherwise, you can always find me on Flickr where I share both my art and photos on a semi-frequent basis.

I cleaned up my neighborhood here as well hoping that it will let me feel like I'm starting somewhat fresh again. *Crosses my fingers*. I really do miss this.

Art-making machine? Illustrating machine? I have no idea, but apparently I've been on a roll lately and I couldn't be happier! And I hope by saying that that I'm not jinxing myself.. heh.

In the lane, snow is glistening!

No, really it still is. 5 days after the big snowfall we had, there's still snow on the ground which is good because I get the White Christmas that I want every year, which in turn makes it even a happier holiday for me. :)

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, too.

with you, it always begins with a some kind of build-up,
an exchange of electronically riddled messages
with a hint of flirtation underlying,
implying the idea of unspoken urges
of lying beneath the dark,
fully completing what this build-up was from the start.
working with only our minds and never our hearts,
(though i still can't help but question mine,
i know yours is much more 'smart')
...down the line to our fingertips, we set this course in action
mixing both subtleties and playful reactions
in the cups we drink to get ourselves drunk
with lust and love and trust and boldness and might
while we let our bodies linger as we dance
around the possibilities that float throughout the night

(where at this point, i get the feeling you want it just as much as i do,
but you like to play the tease and almost never want to say you do)

so the chaser becomes the chasee and we cycle back and forth until we fall
and i like to think that together we both gave in, and finally broke down our walls
for that one dawning state of happiness that this all began around.
i have to say when it comes down to it ... i happen to enjoy the final sound.

with you, i always knew it was never going to be that easy
but sometimes i like to go along, because in the end, it pleases me.

After A While

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

--Veronica A. Shoffstall

the best, most amazing, most wonderful moments in your life are usually the ones that can’t be captured through film, through video, but can only be kept in memories and the feeling you felt through every jolting sense of your body.

I guess after awhile, this is what keeps me sane during my downtime at work, hahaha.

 

"they were sitting on the strawberry swing..
every moment was so precious"

--coldplay